Lemons

I told myself I was going to make sure I kept up with this blog better than I have ever tried with any other publishings before. I'm not quite hitting the specific goal I set for myself already, but the great news is that I am still doing much better than previous attempts. That's a win for Jenni. And an accountability moment (I really enjoy those.)

Do you ever feel like as soon as you take 1 step forward you get thrown about 3 or 4 steps back? Personally, this has happened to my family on a much more regular basis than I care for. This week was a particularly horrible set back. It's a struggle that we are still on and it may take a while to recover. I like to think of this particular set back as lemons. Yes, lemons.

Am I a fan of lemons, not really. But do I use them, and get help from them? Yes!!!  They are sour, bitter and make me make weird faces. But, they add flavor to water and tea and help take care of my body. So you see, I need lemons. Just as sometimes to move forward we have to have setbacks otherwise how are you going to tell you're getting anywhere?!

I had spent a little bit of time this week reflecting on the situation currently presenting itself and I was a complete mess. I was thinking how unfair to me, to my daughter, to my husband. Then I found out a dear friend of mine lost his dad all of a sudden. While I am facing fears, the unknown and being scared somebody I care about lost something so much more that can never be replaced. I felt like a selfish jerk. My problems can be fixed and theirs can not. Both situations will heal with time but they are so so different. It really puts things into perspective.  I still have everyone I love and we can find ways to work around our problems.

Then I stopped being angry with myself and started to think some more. I am not a selfish jerk for being a mess about my problems, because they are in fact mine. But being a mess does not help the situation. How often do people talk to you about God having a master plan? This happens a lot with me but I'm not always paying enough attention to listen. I'm listening now. I've calmed myself down and I'm moving forward. There are a lot of great things going on with me. I have my family, my friends, my home and everything I need in it. We are still going to be facing some challenges right now, but I have His master plan that I am a part of and I just need to keep doing what I need to, praying for the guidance I seek and have the faith that my giant step forward to make up for my 4 steps back is coming.

The greatest thing I have to get me through this is MYSELF!! I am happier, healthier, stronger (in more ways than 1) and more confident than I have been in a long while. I take care of my mind and my body after I spent so much time neglecting it and just going through the motions of every day life.   I just feel fantastic and I'm in control of that!!!! What an amazing transformation! I am proud to say this every day and to share it with the world. It feels good to talk to the world about how great I feel about myself and I have no shame in that. I work hard on developing myself physically, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually.

So, I'm going to end this with a message for life. Dear Life, I see and I feel the lemons you are throwing at me. Don't you know I work out? How about throwing a little protein instead?!?!

Happy day to everyone!!!