Getting housing settled, finishing up activities, running errands and taking care of every day to do's has been more difficult doing them alone since Adam has already been working in Ohio for a month. I always seem to be on the go and now I still have plenty to do including packing. I've been slowly getting to things, but I always seemed to need so many different items that I just couldn't get myself to pack them away.
About half of Lily's toys are packed and tomorrow I need to get that finished. She has a box of toys that are separated from everything else so they don't go on the moving truck and she'll still have something to play with. Then, I finally have some newspaper so I can get the kitchen and dining room packed up. My big problem right now is just that it is so messy around the entire apartment and there are so many little items laying around that it's driving me crazy and I can't seem to focus so I can't work. I may be a nutcase.
I can't believe I'm in my last week of living in Michigan. It's still really hard for me to accept, as a matter of fact I'm not sure I really have.
I've lived outside of Michigan a couple of times before, but always made my way back here. I often talk about living down south and I would love to, but at the same time Michigan is what I know. It's who I am. I know, Toledo is just south of that border but it's still just not the same. I can't really explain it, but I feel a lot like I'm losing a piece of myself. I had hoped to raise Lily in the same state as me as she could grow to love it as I do. I enjoy reading those meme's about being a Michigan girl and having fire and ice in our blood. I'm an incredibly sentimental person. I think therein lies my hold up.
I get emotionally attached to all kinds of things. People, places, things... it doesn't matter. If it holds a memory, I'm attached and can't let go.
I'm participating in a faith and fitness group now. I have had these struggles that I can't seem to get over and I haven't been going to church and I've felt a bit empty. We are reading a devotional book called "Jesus Calling." This book is phenomenal. I swear that when I get to the reading for the day, it's exactly the thing I have been worrying about or thinking about and it speaks to me. I've really needed it this last week while I have been a wreck about the schooling issue we face for Lily. That's a whole big mess for another day though.. seriously. I'm so glad my coach brought me into the group and had us get this book. That coupled with reading the verses from my Bible that go with it have really helped me from completely unfolding. I'm doing my best to do what it says and Trust in HIS plan, I'm slowly but surely learning to let go.
Lily told me "Momma, I can be happy in Ohio." I think maybe she knew I needed to hear that. It's still not going to be easy and I can't get excited but I will try to focus on knowing that good things will still happen and we have some nice things planned for when we get to Toledo. I know I'll have my husband and my daughter, we will have a house, we will have food, I will have my business, I will have my workouts and challenge groups, I will still have my family and my friends no matter where I am and of course I'll have my Shakeology (you know I had to throw it in there.)
Thanks for reading, thanks for putting up with me the last 6 weeks and thanks for being patient about all the things you want to read while I make the time to write them.
