That's a wrap for this chapter

A single 10 hour shift stands between me and the next step of my journey.

I've been reflecting much lately on the last few years of my life. I was at McDonalds for nearly a decade and it took a great amount of coercing from family and friends to get me to apply for Speedway. I was driving sometimes 3 hours a day for my commute to work and I was miserable. It wasn't fun anymore. I was mistreated, unappreciated and smelled of grease all the time. I still had a hard time letting go. I had given this job all of me. I did it though, I applied for Speedway and despite the fact that initially it would be a small paycut, I jumped on the opportunity.

I didn't have a great time training for Speedway, there were a number of times I felt too stupid to work there. But I stuck it out, I didn't really have a choice. Then right after my training period, a spot opened up for me. It didn't take long for me to get moved to bigger stores (it happened frequently enough.) And in less than 1 year I made it to store manager. That's all I had wanted for a long time with McDonalds and here Speedway was already giving it to me. I struggled a lot in the beginning because I took over after someone was fired and just hadn't been doing very well.

I spent time feeling like less than my awesome self. But finally, I gained some ground and realized that the whole time I've been doing exactly what was expected and doing it very well.

I've always been an excellent employee, a great manager (at both places.. and then some.) I have given everything I have and my job has always gotten priority. My ah ha moment. My JOB has always gotten my best. What about my family? My friends? Myself?

At 12 weeks old, I left my little girl to go back to work. Yes, I know I was incredibly lucky to get to have 12 weeks with her (paid) instead of the usual 6 unpaid others get. My mom watched her a bit and then when she went home I had to rely on the people I loved. I wasn't in a position to put her into daycare. I didn't know where to even start and with both of us working it was already pretty much paycheck to paycheck. My friends Chrissy, Jena, Ashley and Jessica took the bulk of the babysitting duties. They did more for me than I could ever repay them for.

An opportunity then arose for Lily to go into daycare. She didn't last there long. She was kicked out at the age of 9 months for being a bully (yes, you read that correctly a 9 month old bully.) That's a whole different can of something to open..... I didn't know what to do so Jena suggested her mom. We started taking Lily to Linda and it didn't take long before she became grandma and the two of them couldn't be separated. A few months later we met the most amazing couple at church, Fran and Tammie. It was a fast formed and is a deeply special friendship. Papa and T have also helped take care of my girl since she was 1.

So for most of 5 years I have relied on the generosity and love of others to help with my amazing daughter. There are no better people that I could have gotten help with. Lily is very excited to have me home, but you better believe she is concerned how much time she is going to have with her Papa, T and Grandma. Can you imagine how good it feels to have your child that concerned over her time with people who started out as helping us out with babysitting but turned into something so much more. I will never be able to show my gratitude or pay any amount of money that will justify all these people have done for me. God brought them to me and I never want to lose them. I know my daughter will take away important lessons and characteristics from spending time with these wonderful people.

You see what I mean here??? Lots of reflecting....That feels like so much information and so much emotion in a few very short paragraphs. I just don't have the words to really explain what is in my heart for these friends turned family.

So tomorrow, I end the Speedway gig. I could keep going and I would be successful, but it's not what I want to do. Adam has found a career that he loves and he does so well at it. I am incredibly proud of him and I believe that he will go far simply because he wants to. This will hopefully lead us all down a new adventure together in the coming months. Until then, he asked me to believe in him and let him give me the opportunity to pursue my dreams. I've never seen Adam believe in himself so much and I trust that he won't let us down. So here we go... one income family until the 2nd half of my new dream comes true.

First and foremost I get to take care of my Lily. Now, she will definitely have her time with Papa, T and Grandma because I don't want that taken away from any of them. I am going to take full advantage of our time together as we finish the winter, head into spring and head into summer. She'll be in kindergarten in the fall and we all know how fast it will go before we don't have much time together at all. I'm a bit sad that it took so long for me to be able to do this, but it's going to happen so the happy more than outweighs that.

I am also going to take on my coaching full time. I find being a health and fitness coach exciting, frustrating and oh so fulfilling all at the same time. Being able to dedicate time and focus on it, I know I will change lives. Yes, I've said this a number of times before (including in the blog,) but that's how passionate I am.

The bottom line of all of it is this: I will take care of what is most important. Myself, my family and my friends. I will live my life with passion and energy!!! I will live happily!!

So, 3 pm tomorrow... that's a wrap for this chapter!!