5

Today is a big day. My one and only girl turns 5.

So many mixed emotions. I am so proud of the little lady she is becoming. She has all of these wonderful qualities and such uniqueness. She has always seemed more grown up than her age, it's just how she is. I never thought I'd have her and I become such an emotional basket case when I think about that.

But here we are.. 5 years later and every single day I thank God for her. I thank Him for bringing this light into my life. She brings a smile to my face every time I look at her (except when she doesn't clean her toy area.) When I pick her up from somewhere I still get that feeling in my heart that simply relaxes me and let's me feel nothing but joy.

I've had times where I felt like it was too good to be true that Lily is our little girl. She is so beautiful and smart (as a whip,) shy and kind. She is this exact mix of Adam and I. She deserves the absolute best from me!!! She is my why!!!!!!!!!!

What is my why??? It's the reason I started taking better care of myself and the reason I stick to it. 4 months now I have really been on my health and fitness journey. Taking care of myself has been a struggle for a long time. It's been a while since I thought anything of myself. This is where I kind of love that Lily is getting older. She can tell me when I don't feel like working out to get off my butt. She wants me to feel good, she wants me to feel better and I want to do that for her. She loves working out. She'll do it with me every day if I let her (sometimes I don't because the workout is too difficult for her.) I continue to lose weight and have energy and a desire to do more with her because I am taking care of myself. I've had to take a long look at what i've been fueling both of our bodies with because if I have junk going in so does she. Who knows what her dreams will be but I refuse to let lack of proper nutrition or even exercise for that matter ever be something that gets in her way. I will lead by example!! I will be a motivator!! I will hold myself accountable for all my actions!!! I will recognize that I'll have setbacks and not be able to be perfect!!! All of this, she will witness and will be better for it! I've started a cycle that will live on through her one day and I'm pretty proud of that.

I'm a little sad that it took almost 5 years to get here. But I really feel like here is where she really starts the memories that will live on with her. What a wonderful time and we get to share so much more of it together. 5 years old. Wow, just wow. I hope that my girl has a wonderful year ahead of her. Full of love, joy, friends and family. My heart could explode with how much of that love and joy she fills it with. If only she could understand what an inspiration she is to me..... Happy 5th Birthday to my Lillian Hazel!!!!